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My wife was catching some stairs that night but one guy particularity was less discreet about it than anybody else. He as a good looking well built black man. A little younger than us, probably in his early to mid 30's and my guess was part of the business traveler crowd. I couldn't say I blamed him, she was looking very fuckable that night. She mentioned him paying attention to her and what could I say. I told her she still had it and could pick up anybody she wanted. She looked at my kinda puzzled and said "hall pass". I joked back and said, sure, why not. Before I could say anything else she tells me she loves me and is walking over to the black mans table. At this point I'm thinking wholly shit, she's really flirting with another man. Then I'm looking at her as not my wife but another woman in a bar in she's turning me on even more. After a few minutes I'm thinking this has been fun and she is on her way back to me at the bar but no. That's when my world spun upside down. I. Nobody at work says, “take it to Nellie the first class secretary,” they just say give it to the chest. I’m going to have them reduced.’ ‘Don’t be wet, Nellie,’ said Donna. ‘They are a national monument. That would be like cutting a bit of Winston Churchill’s statue or removing the tips off Tower Bridge.’ I put an arm around Nellie and hugged her. She sobbed. ‘I hate them. It’s as if they are all I am!’ More sobbing. ‘I’m just a pair of boobs with a smile above them if anyone ever bothers to look that high.’ ‘Well,’ said Donna, ‘They do have a certain arresting quality.’ I glared at her. ‘It’s a big decision, Nellie. Why not give it a bit of time. Think about it.’ ‘Good idea, College. After all, Nell, you’ve sort of grown up with them. You might miss them. I know I will.’ I glared again. Donna looked at me as if to say, ‘what did I say?’ and continued, ‘like College says, mull on it for a while.’ ‘Do you think I haven’t? Look at the bloody things. It’s like having a horse’s arse down.
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